You know.

Tonight Josh and I went out to the suburbs to see a play and have dinner with his folks. Josh's mom Jenna and her partner Ed are the kind of family I'm glad to be marrying into. The very first time I met them I felt comfortable and very much myself. Tonight I was, perhaps, a little too much myself. Nothing makes a good impression like getting the trots the first time your soon-to-be mother-in-law invites you over for dinner.

Success!

I made the herb rubbed roasted turkey, perfect gravy, cranberry orange relish, and green beans with lemon zest from Relish!, the online meal planning service I use. The turkey was fine, but the green beans and perfect gravy were the real stand-outs. This was the best gravy I've ever had, and I'll be sure to make it for years to come.

I also made John Besh's Oyster Dressing Grand Mere- a recipe I found in the December 2007 Food and Wine and Top Chef Stephanie Izard's Sweet Potato Puree with Blue Cheese and Brown Sugar Walnuts. I'll probably make the sweet potato puree again, but Josh wasn't crazy about the dressing, so next year I'll try something new.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and have many more to come.

Josh's family has a tradition on Thanksgiving; for however many years old you are you make a list of as many things you are grateful. It was absurdly easy for me to think of 28 things I am thankful for today. And at the top of my list today I am thankful for whatever brought Josh into my life. I am truly blessed.

Josh and I are at a very exciting time in our lives. We get to start our own family, we get to forge our own traditions, and we get to do pretty much whatever we feel like. I've never been that into holidays (and neither has Josh) but I feel much more excited now that we are doing our own thing.

Sometimes I feel like we're just kids playing house. Josh reminds me that we're not pretending to have jobs and bills and a home and pets to take care of, those things are all real. Plus I'm about a year away from turning thirty we aren't playing anymore; it's kind of just life.

I felt this most strongly last night when we were at the grocer picking up provisions for Thanksgiving. His tradition is grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup alone in his apartment. Now that we're kind of a matching set much of that plan gets pushed by the wayside. He isn't really complaining.

I'm also doing away with some of my traditions. I'm making a turkey, sure, but my favorite Thanksgiving dish, green chili and cheese tamales, aren't available here; and I can't make tamales. You can be damned sure when I'm in Denver in two weeks we're swinging by La Casita for a couple dozen frozen tamales I can bring home for Christmas.

I'm trying out a great new recipe for gravy. Mashed potatoes, green beans (steamed, not that nasty casserole people are so fond of), sweet potatoes (with blue cheese and candied walnuts, also a new recipe), and, per usual, store bought pumpkin pie, because I don't bake.

Hopefully our first Thanksgiving will be a success, but just in case, we've got the number for a pizza joint in our neighborhood that delivers on Thanksgiving Day.

Miami judge rules against Fla. gay adoption ban

Now we'll have to see what happens in CA in March.

I have always had a bit of a love hate relationship with Thanksgiving. I love spending time with family, and drinking wine. I love wearing stretchy pants and warm socks and taking football naps. I love gravy and tamales and wine, did I mention wine?

I hate leaving the house and driving (usually to another state) and then having to drive home later. Or, actually, get a ride home with my parents because, um, the wine.

This year is a compromise. No family (unless you count Josh, which I do) but also no driving. No football nap (we don't have a TV) but I'll take a Harry Potter nap instead.

We won't have tamales from La Casita, but we found a nice small turkey. Josh is making mashed potatoes and I'll make oyster dressing and blue cheese sweet potatoes. We'll play Trivial Pursuit and snuggle up on the couch under my dad's old pussy willow comforter to watch movies.

We'll bundle up and walk the Murph dog after dinner and then eat pumpkin pie.

I'll have to settle for talking to my family on the phone this year, but Josh and I are both looking forward to a nice long weekend at home- alone- with each other.

It sucked being sick, SICK, on Friday but the rest of Jill's visit was a lot of fun.

Friday night we had a party- I was a little lame with not-feeling well and wanting to go to sleep- but it was a lot of fun. HOWEVER- I think Josh and I decided that we aren't having any more parties.

Saturday Jill and I went shopping, took a nap and met one of her girlfriends out for dinner and a night on the town. It was also fun. Dinner at Hub 51 was pretty good, but nothing spectacular. After dinner we ventured out to a few bars (clubs?) for some dancing.

Jill and I decided to play a little game and compliment everybody who walked by. We'd tap people on the shoulder and say things like "Wow, you have fantastic hair" or "That's a great suit'" sort of an extension of the game where we smile great big smiles at everyone. In both cases people are generally confused for a minute, their natural instinct to assume we're saying something ass-hole-y and then once they realize it's a compliment they get all pleased and self satisfied. It is a lot of fun being nice to people- more people should try it.

On Sunday we met Micah (my brother in law to be) for brunch and then got take-out from the Lincoln Park noodle house (yummy) and called it a pretty early night by throwing on a movie.

It was such a short weekend, and Jill is already gone, but it was so good to see her.

Jill is awesome.

Jill is in town visiting this weekend and I'm acutely aware of how much more I'd love Chicago if Jill lived here too. I hope you all have a friend like Jill.

Despite being extremely sick all day today I am currently rallying for a party we're having. It's fun. Peace out. Or come over if you want. We've got booze but we're dangerously close to running out of mixers, so bring some tonic.

I've been so impressed with Josh's mad mustache growing skills this Moember,well, franlky, I'm a little jealous. When Jill called me yesterday to recount her dream that I showed up at my wedding with a full glorious moustache a la Josh I got to thinking...

What type of mustache would I sport, if only I could?

What do you think?

It's not too late to donate, just click here.

I spent lots of time tonight working on a collage first in Picnik and then in Flickr labeling all of the pictures... only to be thwarted late in the game when I learned the notes don't translate to the blog. You can click out on the picture and see my handiwork. If anybody knows how to do this (so that my note pops up when you roll over the picture I'm all ears)

The Twilight Books- I know, I know, but they sucked me in. Relish! Josh and I have had easy and delicious dinners every night this week. If you feel like a slave in the kitchen I urge you to check it out. You will thank me. Movember Help Josh kick ass (cancer)! Click here and donate today. Nancy's Hudson Valley Camambert This is my absolute favorite cheese of the minute. It is so rich and creamy, I think it tastes like a cross between butter and ice cream and it has this funny little aftertaste. Bin Wine Cafe in Bucktown is my favorite restaurant in Chicago so far. I love everything about it. Josh and I look forward to How I Met Your Mother every week. Equality and civil rights. Aria Pinot Noir- This sparkling pinot is a nice treat.

Sometimes I freak out a little bit about getting married. Josh does too; I think it would be unnatural and extraordinary if we didn't have moments of anxiety.

Last night we were sitting down for dinner talking about the things we were nervous about, and what we missed about living alone. It's funny, the things we miss are stupid and selfish- yet we both miss them. We have the same anxieties about the future, the same desire to remain autonomous.

After dinner we were playing Uno at the kitchen table, the whole time joking and laughing so hard tears were rolling down our faces.

I used to wonder why people would ever get married, women especially. Now I can't imagine- fears included- living without Josh. It is such a simple thing, being with this one person; living a simple life. Walk the dog, make dinner, do the laundry, it is routine and a little boring, maybe, but seldom unpleasant.

And at night, when we lay in bed drifting off to sleep, his skin feels like my skin.

I thought about it and thought about it, coming up with more than one way to wear this dress was tough- it is such a classic cut. But, I've come up with three "looks," I've snapped pictures of my outfits, accessories included, and I'm ready to go. I've already found two occasions to wear this dress in the last week, that twice as many as I found all last year.

My mom and I went to Bonsoiree for dinner on Saturday night to celebrate her birthday. It was delish, really spectacular. We've been on the fence about a caterer for the wedding, but I thin k dinner here has swayed us towards their catering. I broke out these purple booties, (are booties over? I'm terrible at keeping up with the fashion) and I always love an excuse to wear this little hat. It was my grandmothers and it's probably 65 0r 70 years old. The elastic is shot but the pailetttes are still in good shape.

This is a little bit of a cheat, since you can't see the dress under all that coat.

Last Thursday Josh and I went to an anniversary party for one of his clients. It was chilly, and I had hard hat hair so I broke out the Carmen Sandiego hat.

What can I say, I just love hats. I always looked forward to being the kind of eccentric old lady who wore whatever weird outfits she felt like with great big flamboyant hats. I've decided not to wait. The time is now.

You may be wondering why my sweet, baby faced Josh is suddenly looking like a 1970's porn star. I have just one word for you.

Movember

Josh is growing this 'stache to raise money to fight prostate cancer and bring awareness to mens health issues.

It's a great cause, and a rather glorious 'stache.

You can track his progress on his movember page.

You can donate too, all money goes directly to the movember organization, just click here.

What are you waiting for?

I have such great pictures from last night but I'm off to pick my mom up from the airport, so pictures will have to wait. Have a fun weekend!

I am having hair restlessness. I want to change it, maybe lighten it, maybe chop it. I don't know what I want to do, but I have hair ennui. Something different everyday, but the constant in all of this is:

I am having bang envy.

Bear in mind, I haven't forgotten the unfortunate bang incident of '03.

Let this be a lesson to you, do not, under any circumstances and no matter how many dirty Grey Goose martini's you may have had, decide to give yourself at-home bangs.

Especially not whilst still under the influence of said martinis.

That said, I have learned my lesson, and I think the real problem with these bangs is that they were sort of cop out bangs. For bangs to look good you need to really commit.

Like my friend Jilly here.

Those are some serious bangs and super cute to boot. But I know I'm nowhere near ready for that much bang.

The particular bangs I would love are seen here, on adorable blogger Kyla Bea, before her new 'do. (Her new 'do is cute too, but I covet her old 'do)

I'm putting it to a vote. Let me know what you think in the comments. And don't be shy, if you think NO BANGS, please say so before I get to cutting.

Tired of growing increasingly frustrated every time I try on my clothes that don't fit I have decided to take action. Last night after work I packed up all of the clothes hanging in the closet that are currently too small (about half of everything I own) and put them in storage. I am finished crying over too tight jeans.

Sadly I can't afford a new wardrobe, but I can afford to change my perspective. Taking a page out of Whoorl's book (which she took out of In Style magazine) I've decided to shop my closet and take a fresh look at what I already own.

Step 1: Pick Your Eight Best Pieces

I went through everything that was still hanging and decided on my eight favorite items. Some of them are part of my "uniform," things I already wear everyday, and some of them are pieces that I rarely break out but should more often!

Blue Jeans

I may be cheating a tiny bit, but I'm including both my boot cut blue jeans (which I wear daily everywhere) and my skinny blue jeans. Girls with my particular shape have to be careful in a skinny jean. I bought mine to wear with my knee high boots. I have to have that extra bulk (from the boots) on the bottom or else I end up looking like a candy apple. I would have made a terrible hipster.

Black Jeans

These are also skinny and were also bought for the express purpose of pairing with boots. I have a pair in denim and I have a pair in a plasticized texture which make me feel very sexy while still covering it up.

V-Neck Burn-Out T-Shirts

I bought a few of these at Forever for about $13 and I have been living in them. They are long enough to make sure no muffin top spills out over jeans, they are thin enough to layer under sweaters or other tops and they are super soft and comfy against my skin.

Zebra Print Short Sleeved Sweater

This is a relatively new purchase, and I am loving it. The tunic length is great over jeans, it would also be good paired with a legging or a thick tight for a more risqué look. It is a nice weight and can be layered over a turtleneck for colder days.

Teal Sweater Dress

I bought this dress last year and have only worn it twice even though it is comfy and super cute.

Black Wool Dress

I bought this at Banana last year too, and it is the first non-special occasion dress I've ever really "invested" in. It has an amazing shape and structure when it's on (as opposed to on the floor). It's just a really classic dress with a bit of a retro feel which I really dig. Because I spent more on it then I normally would on a dress I've fallen into the habit of saving it for special occasions and really, it is such a versatile dress, I think I should get as much use out of it as possible.

Print Sweater Dress

I picked this little cheapy up at forever 21. I love turtlenecks in the winter, I dig the pattern on this dress and I like it worn both as a dress and as a sweater with jeans.

Flashy Top

I shopped this tunic top out of Tanya's closet. It is fun and funky and I think it deserves to see a little more action this winter.

Step 2: Lay Your Choices Out Where You Can See Them All

Looking at what I consider my favorite pieces I notice a shift in the way I've been dressing over the past year or two. I used to show a little more skin and now I like to cover up a bit more. Less cleavage, more structure. I like very utilitarian pieces that I can just throw on and go, and I am also aware that I've started wearing pieces that camouflage my midsection. (But I'm hitting the gym, so hopefully that little insecurity isn't here to stay)

The next steps are:

Step 3: Pick Your Basics

This is pretty easy for me. Monday through Friday I'm dressing for a steel mill, so I can really play around with my clothes on the weekends. Jeans, sweaters and t-shirts for day time make sure I'm comfortable running errands and the snazzier pieces I've picked for when I want to dress up a bit at night.

Step 4: Make a List of What's Missing

For me, what is really missing is a good pair of dark blue boot cut jeans that fit and a belt to pair with various sweater dresses. I'd like to be comfortable but I still would like to have a shape and not look like a sack of flour.

Step 5: Create Outfits- Shoes and All

I think this next step will be really fun. Like every girl who was a teenager in the nineties I've always dreamt of a closet like Cher's in Clueless. I think this is a good idea; to look at my 8 core pieces in a new way and play a little with some of the remaining items left in my closet.

Step 6: Choose a Handbag

To be fair I've never really been into handbags, but I need a new one for winter; the one I'm currently using is decidedly summery. I do dig clutches, and will try mixing and matching some of the ones I use less frequently.

Step 7: Accessorize

I am really lazy about accessories. I think that planning accessories for outfits ahead of time might be just what I need to change my ways.

Step 8: Snap the Looks
The idea here is that you can easily reference different looks for different occasions. I like it.

You'd think after two months I wouldn't do that anymore, but you'd be wrong. I dropped Josh off at the gym and took a different route to work and got completely lost in downtown Chicago.

I noticed that they were hanging holiday decorations and my first reaction was that it was too early for that nonsense. But...

This Saturday is November 15. My mom's birthday! She is coming for a visit and will be staying with Josh and I for a few days. Next weekend Jill is coming for a visit. The weekend after that is Thanksgiving.

So maybe it isn't too-too early for holiday decorations. It did put me in a rather festive mood, and that can't be a bad thing going into the cold weather.

Today is Veteran's Day. I would like to thank our veterans for serving our country, a job that not everyone (including myself) is up for. I would also like to thank the men and women who are on active duty, for their service to our country. Come home safe and soon.

I was on a serious roll this weekend, crossing items off my to-do list left and right.

The most exciting item we crossed off the list was: was sealing, stamping and mailing our wedding invitations.

Josh, bless his heart, didn't seem to find the task as anxiety inducing as I did.

Hopefully we didn't miss any typos.

Today I wanted to stay home and snuggle down and play some monopoly. Instead I spent my whole day out and about drinking champagne and eating cheese and watching football.

Which sounds awesome.

Until I tell you that we did all of that because we have no heat and we can see our breath in our living room.

So we didn't really have a choice but to go out and seek heat.

Blerg.

Josh and I are playing Monopoly, and he is looking a little peaked. I ask him if dinner didn't really sit well with him and he says "no, I've just been farted on a lot tonight."

And to that I say

"Fair enough."

He really is marrying a frat boy. I'm just sayin'.

I don't have a fun and light wedding post this week. In fact I haven't done any wedding planning, and I haven't even been excited about the wedding.

And I know why.

I'm sorry to belabor the point, but I am so upset about the passing about Proposition 8 in California and similar amendments in Florida and Arizona. I can't get excited right now about getting married, because in one night the rights of citizens in these states were stripped. Not to mention the citizens in states that had already passed similar amendments.

We can only wait and see if the 18,000 same-sex couples who married between June 16, 2008 in California will have their marriages invalidated.

In Florida Amendment 2 and in Arizona Proposition 102 also were approved and will amend the states' constitutions to exclude same-sex couples from marriage.

In Arkansas, voters approved a ballot measure that prohibits unmarried individuals or couples from fostering or adopting children effectively excluding gay and lesbian individuals and same-sex couples from the pool of adoptive and foster parents.

Why? Gay marriage is good for the economy. It doesn't minimize the commitment of or trivialize heterosexual couples in any way. It doesn't take rights away from heterosexual couples. And god knows there are children who desperately need homes and parents to love and take care of them.

Why can Josh and I decide to get married? We could get married tomorrow if we wanted to.

I guess I don't understand why people would go out of their ways to introduce this legislation that proactively targets a minority group. I don't understand how, in our country with the purported separation of church and state, we can change the constitution (at the state level, for now) to legalize discrimination. I don't understand how a state's constitution can be amended by a 52% vote. I don't understand why so many people, whose lives would be in no real way affected by such a decision would care so much that they would approve this legislation.

I don't know how we are supposed to go about our daily business and not be outraged by this, and I don't know what I can do about any of it.

For the last two years I've been poor. Dirt poor. Graduate student poor.

My rent in grad school was more than half of my monthly paycheck. I was 28 years old living on Ramen noodles and boxed wine.

The first thing I had to cut to live within my means was my yoga membership. I figured I could just go to the gym at school for free and I'd still be able to pay my electric bill.

But I didn't go to the gym because I hate going to the gym. Yoga is the only work out I've ever been able to stick with, and it suits my body. Back in the day I had the rockinest body just from going to yoga every day.

So for the past two years I've been, little by little, getting, let's say, a bit more voluminous. For a long time I didn't really notice, because I gain weight well too, all in my ass and boobs. I know, I know; lucky me, what am I complaining about?

Since Josh and I moved in together we've been enjoying a pretty hedonistic lifestyle. Lots of good food; cheese, wine and crusty bread for dinner two or three times a week.

I'll admit, I was starting to notice the quite sizeable ass I'm now carrying around, but what really woke me up was Suzie's bachelorette party and wedding. People kept saying, "wow... your ass...". Then last weekend I went to target to pick up a pair of black skinny jeans and I had to buy...an 11.

Seriously, I know being an 11 isn't the end of the world, but 5 years ago I was a size 2, and two years ago I was a size 4, and, frankly, none of my clothes fit.

Except my new size 11 jeans.

So I've been looking for a workout I can commit to. Josh goes to the Bally Total Fitness down the street, but I know I'll flake out on a traditional gym membership. There is a pilates studio near our apartment, but it is prohibitively expensive. The yoga studios I've checked out in Lincoln Park are a little too packed for my taste and parking is an absolute nightmare.

My old yoga studio in Denver has grown staggeringly large and branched out with franchises around the country. While I certainly don't begrudge them their success, I was unsure if everything I liked about it when it was small would transfer to their new studio here in Chicago.

Despite my reservations, I decided to give it a shot last night. It is to hell and gone from our apartment (it is in the South Loop), but I pass it on my way home from work every evening, and it turns out they validate parking.

I had a great class. I know I'm just transferring some of my homesickness, but class I felt really comfortable, like I'd found a bit of home here so far away. The instructor had just moved here form Denver, and several of the other people in the class were also from Denver; it was surreal to see more than one car in their lot with green and white Colorado plates.

I'll never be a size 2 again, but I'll keep going back, if only for that little piece of home that made me feel so comfortable here in my new city.

Chicago was an amazing place to be last night. I didn't go down to Grant Park because being surrounded by that many people in one place is my personal idea of hell, but even in our neighborhood the energy was off the charts.

I am beyond relieved that Mr. Obama won last night's election to become President-elect of our country.

I also breathed a sigh of relief that Marilyn Musgrave, the hatemongering incumbent representative to Colorado's House- District 4 was defeated by Betsy Markey.

What I find quite appalling, however, is that Proposition 8 is passing in California. First, I can't believe that this kind of prejudice is so prevalent, second, I am disturbed that this state-sponsored bigotry isn't illegal, and third, I feel like if you want to be a disgusting bigot you shouldn't be allowed to hide behind a secret ballot. I can only hope this will be challenged, and look forward to the day when this type of bigotry is a thing of the past.

Eight years ago I was stuck at a Holiday Inn in Omaha Nebraska watching the whole Bush-Gore-Florida-Chad drama unfold.

The results were such:

George W. Bush ran against Al Gore
The Popular vote was 50,456,002 (Bush) to 50,999,897 (Gore)
That is; 47.9% to 48.4%

But that translated to an electoral vote of 271 for Bush and 266 for Gore
Bush carried 30 states and Gore carried 20 states and DC

I was 20 years old and I was already disillusioned with voting in this country.

Four years later Jill and I stood in line for 6 hours to cast our votes in the 2004 presidential election. I don't know how she voted, but I had seen John Kerry speak in Denver and he had won my vote. I wanted to make sure that my vote counted in Colorado, a historically red state.

Opposition from the United Nations notwithstanding , the Bush administration's allegations of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq were responsible for the March 20, 2003 invasion and subsequent war with Iraq.

Despite this unethical and irresponsible behavior President Bush was reelected in 2004.

Today, almost four years later we are still in a war that costs our country $10 Billion a month and has resulted in 30764 American military casualties.

The popular sentiment among my peers is that Obama is a lock, and I suppose that if you lived in a big city and all of your friends were young and urban and open minded that you might also get a feeling for overwhelming Obama support. But there are people, all over the country lining up to vote for McCain as well. The way the Electoral College works means that the popular vote doesn't necessarily guarantee a win.

So forgive me if I don't share the hope that seems to be infectious here in Chicago. Instead I'm very, very nervous. I want to believe that things will be different- that Americans are ready for a change. I voted, and I'll watch from the edge of my seat tonight as votes are tallied and our country's future is decided.

But when I go to sleep tonight I won't be able the shake the memory of waking up and reading the paper on November 8, 2000.

Good times, I'm telling you.

Thursday night Josh and I had a few of his friends over for food and cocktails and pumpkin carving. Byron, Kellie and my new Chicago crush Michelle came over to hang out with us.

Call us lazy but we never got around to carving the pumpkins, after a few cocktails Josh turned this guy into an S&M pumpkin.

And he got in on the action too. Spicy.

I was feeling kind of lazy the night of the party, I'd had a long day and I didn't feel like changing out of these jammie pants and into real clothes. I used to rock sweats at Suz's parties, and I felt like I should continue my tradition of slobitude. Now, in the harsh light of day, I'm thinking I should have put on pants.

I love a little classic Byron.

And Murphy loves a party; lots of attention and a much greater chance of people dropping tidbits of the food for him to scavenge.

Friday night we went to a party with Byron and his friend Ryan. I swear next year I'm going to be something other than wonder Woman. It's just so easy to throw on the costume and go- no extra effort required.

What can Brown do for you? I love those little shorts!

I'm trying to watch the Bronco game here, and you are making an already bad game unbearable.

See, I'm not a campaigning kind of person. I don't care who other people vote for and I certainly don't want to try an change anyone's mind. I don't believe it is any of my business.

I mean, we have secret ballots for a reason.

And listen, I've done my part. I voted. I'm tired of talking about it. I'm tired of reading about it. I'm tired of hearing about it.

I get it. It's a big deal.

But I already voted.

Just let me watch football in peace.

Thanks,

Me

P.S. I listened to you go on and on about why you *think* you are a Republican, and I think you need to take a civics class or read a newspaper. I wouldn't consider your beliefs at all conservative buddy. Just sayin'.

November is shaping up to be a good month.

Per usual every weekend is booked up, the highlights of which are visits from my Mom and my Jill.

I am quite looking forward to Thanksgiving. Even though I will miss my family I am excited for Josh and I to start our own traditions.

Josh is participating in Movember this year. I dig it, because I find mustaches pretty sexy. Be prepared for me to be a shill for his cause, in fact, if you would like to donate just click on the link.

And finally, it's NaBloPoMo time again. Thirty posts in thirty days. Which isn't much different than normal, but it is nice to have goals.