Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestEmail this to someone

Just when I think we’ve got this parenting thing down, Henry throws us a curve ball.  It seems to happen every couple of months, so that just when we feel in control the rug is ripped out from us and we start scrambling all over again, trying to figure out how this all works.

Hen is in a funny transition phase he can’t quite crawl yet, and it pisses him off, his teeth haven’t broken through yet, and it pisses him off, he can sort of communicate his needs but not really and it pisses him off.   Josh and I are exhausted, and our fuses are shorter than ever, we can’t be mean to the baby when we are frustrated, so we take our frustrations out on each other.  The change in the seasons has been particularly rough on Heny, and he has been going to sleep at 5 pm, which means these days I only see him for about 30 minutes a day which is breaking my heart.

My piece of shit body is working against me.  I thought when I got pregnant I wouldn’t have to really worry about PCOS again until we wanted to get pregnant again, but it is wrecking havoc on my milk supply.  (If only to appease the well intentioned unsolicited advice givers; I’ve tried everything seriously, everything, fenugreek, blessed thistle, the tea, compression, heat, extra water, extra calories, lactation cookies, I replaced all of my pump parts, I pump on a schedule 5x a day and get less than 8 oz all day, everything recommended by kellymom, LLL and everyone else, and I’m still doing all of these things, if I’ve missed anything and you are about to recommend it, I’ve tried that too, but thank you.)

We are embarking on a grand experiment tonight and giving co-sleeping a shot in the hopes of boosting my supply and giving me some more time with my son, even if he is sleeping.  We have educated ourselves on safe co-sleeping practices so if you are about to urge us not to because it is dangerous, please don’t. (Side vent more baby boys die from circumcision every year than boys and girls from co-sleeping combined, but you don’t see billboards imploring parents to leave their poor son’s penises intact do you?)

I’m not worried about safety, but I am worried about how it will go, will it help us or hurt us in the sleep department? Will I be able to sleep in jammies and without our big down comforter? How will our sex life be affected?  How will our marriage be affected? We’ll see, heck, it might not even work for us, Henry might even be back in his crib before the weekend, but I hope to find something that works for us.