So many people have emailed me about my resolutions, specifically resolution number 5 that I may as well address it.  I know for most people the only reason to have sex would be because it is fun. It feels good, and thank god for that as it’s pretty much our driving biological force.  It didn’t even occur to me that people with normally functioning bodies wouldn’t have the frame of reference to get why sex would be anything but fun. 

 

So here goes:  when you decide to try to get pregnant, it all starts out kind of fun and exciting, pulling the goalie, seeing what happens.  You carry on with your regularly scheduled love life, and a few weeks later tentatively pee on a stick. Nothing.  Repeat this plan of action for six months or so, then start looking at this process more critically.  You might go to a drugstore and buy ovulation prediction kits.  You might start charting and temping.  You’ll slowly come to the realization that getting pregnant is not quite as easy as they taught us in health class.  Actually, for some of us it is downright difficult. 

 

Every month that ticks by is more disappointing than the last. Time and opportunity lost. You learn that your window is actually pretty small, so when whatever your preferred ovulation prediction method gives you the green light it’s “get your pants off” time. It doesn’t matter if you are in the mood or not, it doesn’t matter if you are tired or have a headache, shit, it doesn’t matter if you are laid up with the flu. Regardless of your desire, you will be having sex tonight. And Tomorrow night, and maybe tomorrow morning as well. You might start to dread this thing which you once enjoyed so much. Because now it is a chore. Simply a means to an end.

 

But it won’t be forever. If you are as lucky as we are you might get that baby after all.  And then you will be so tired, and sometimes you’ll choose rest over sex, and that’s OK. But I’ll tell you, and I don’t talk about sex very often but it needs to be said, having a baby is not the end of your sex life.  Yes, we are tired, but we have shared some amazing experiences in the last year and our sex life is better than ever.  But since we are so very tired sometimes we do it just because it’s been too long and we think we should, not very romantic.  And knowing that we want to start trying for another baby sometime this year means that “get your pants off” is somewhere in our future. So while we can I want to have sex with my husband just for fun. And just because we want to.