Last night Josh and I were making our way through the DVR and at the end of one of our favorite shows two of our favorite characters kissed the kind of TV kiss where they got everything right.
It was sexy, romantic, touching, and very very hot. We watched it twice.
And then I burst into tears.
It took 20 minutes of sobbing for me to articulate to my freaked-out husband what was wrong. Why I went from enjoying a great TV kiss to bawling on the sofa. Romance. First kisses. The rush when love blooms. I’m never going to feel that way again, and it’s something I never knew I needed to grieve.
Not that my life is devoid of romance, that loves-first-blush romance is long gone but a slow burn steady romance has grown in it’s place.
It’s there everyday, sometimes hidden, easy to miss if you aren’t paying attention.
When my husband and I meet each other’s eyes over the head of our tantrum throwing toddler, both of us trying not to laugh.
How every Monday morning I have a full gas tank despite not having been to the gas station once myself in the last 6 months.
When I wake up at 5 on Saturday morning and find that my husband saved the last 4 episodes of my favorite show for me so I can watch them in peace before the rest of the house awakens.
Clean socks, charged cell phones, cold Gatorade, packed lunches, magically appear.
This is the kind of romance that can sustain a lifetime. And given the choice I’d pick it over that heart racing butterflies in the stomach rush everyday.
Amen to romance nothing beats having someone who always knows where you put your glasses and happy to stop on his way home at 11pm to pick up a loaf of bread because you forgot until after you put the toddler to bed.
If there’s any chance that the kiss you speak of happened on New Girl, I have to say that it hit me in the gut for some reason too. Like it kinda took my breath away. Which is weird, because I love that show, but definitely didn’t expect for it to make me feel something over a kiss. And the romance thing… we have a 13-month-old and romance is hard to come by some days.
It was new girl. I got a little heavy spot in my stomach when I watched that scene, too.
New Girl? Yup, that one got me too. It’s a weird realization that you will never get to do the awkwardly wonderful, early stages of falling for someone again.
That sounds pretty hot to me.
Yes! New Girl, but I didn’t want to spoiler it for anyone jsut in case. I got spoilered, and I was still taken by surprise! It was great!
I felt similar complicated feelings after watching that episode. Your post also makes me think of a lovely poem I once read:
ATLAS
There is a kind of love called maintenance
Which stores the WD40 and knows when to use it
Which checks the insurance, and doesn’t forget
The milkman; which remembers to plant bulbs;
Which answers letters; which knows the way
The money goes; which deals with dentists
And Road Fund Tax and meeting trains,
And postcards to the lonely; which upholds
The permanently rickety elaborate
Structures of living, which is Atlas.
And maintenance is the sensible side of love,
Which knows what time and weather are doing
To my brickwork; insulates my faulty wiring;
Laughs at my dryrotten jokes; remembers
My need for gloss and grouting; which keeps
My suspect edifice upright in air,
As Atlas did the sky.
-U.A. Fanthorpe
Fellow babywearer here… I stumbled upon your blog a while ago and just caught up on it today. This one really hit me. I haven’t seen the kiss you speak of, but have been struggling with similar feelings lately. This post made me appreciate the little things my husband does on a daily basis. It’s so easy to take those things for granted.