The Maiden Metallurgist

Woolie Stash

by The Maiden Metallurgist on May 9, 2013, 4 comments

With 7 weeks until go time we have shockingly little done in preparation of the new baby.

7 weeks. Nothing done.

We have to set up the crib and pick up the mattress. We have to wash baby clothes that have been stored in the basement. We have to set up the new monitor. We have to… Gosh I don’t even know. When I was a first time mom I had checklists and to-do lists and we were PREPARED.

This time we’re like… well, I have boobs. And diapers… what else do we really need?

So diapers. We have always used cloth diapers, and we love them. With Henry we used pockets and pre-folds. We love them, and we are still using them with him. So we are faced with a decision, buy more pockets? Work on potty learning?

Hen is not ready to start using the potty. He shows absolutely no interest and I’m not willing to fight an uphill battle just to face a regression when we bring home brother.

I don’t really want to buy another stash of pockets either. But I have been wool curious for a long time, but felt overwhelmed by options when we were choosing our cloth diapers for Hen. This time, I wanted to take the plunge. I started buying some wool covers, shorties and longies; you don’t need many, and thank goodness for that because they are not cheap.

I also started knitting to grow the stash.

Well, you know that at our anatomy scan we found out that the baby has a clubfoot, and doing a little research we found that the pants and shorts we plan on using might not be the most convenient for diaper changes. The baby will have a brace between his feet so taking pants on and off could prove to be a hassle if we have to also take the brace off each time.

I started looking for patterns I could knit, that would better suit our needs, and with the help of a friend I found several. So I kept knitting.

I’m so proud of my hand knit stash for the little guy.

Pavo Textiles

by The Maiden Metallurgist on May 8, 2013, 1 comment

It is no secret that I love textiles and fiber arts.

I’ve long enjoyed knitting, recently discovered weaving and my passion for woven wraps certainly seems like a forgone conclusion.

It is also no secret that I thrive on the handmade, the homemade and the home grown.

A year or so ago I started to hear whispers about the birth of an American Textile company producing wraps. It was in the early stages, but this… this is very exciting. As someone who works in production in the USA I recognize what a rare thing this is. American production is a dying thing, it is cost prohibitive and it is particularly difficult to comply with testing and regulations for US producers; both easier and cheaper to outsource overseas, so for someone to conceptualize, and then bring that concept to fruition, a production line based here in the US… this is a thing born of passion.

From the Pavo Textiles website:

“Pavo Textiles is . . .

focused on jacquard weaving artisanal baby wraps in the United States. Our mission is to provide heirloom quality wraps woven from the finest natural fibers available. Instead of outsourcing production to save on cost, we are dedicated to creating textiles that embody the tradition and history of American weaving.”

Doesn’t that make your pulse race a little bit? Even more exciting? The two women behind Pavo textiles are friends of mine. They are moms, they have jobs, they are regular women just like you and me who felt their passion burning so brightly that they took the big risk, and went for it. They made it happen. They inspire me.

Recently Pavo began releasing their wraps. They are beautiful. Well made. Even if they weren’t the physical embodiment of all that passion and inspiration, I would have wanted one. I got lucky, I got two.

The first one, Penumbra Shadow, is inspired by the area between full shadow and full illumination during an eclipse, a reminder that nothing is ever entirely black or white.

The second one, Parterre Acanthus is “an exercise in playing with the subtleties of dark and light motifs. It is a study in how shadows and sunlight dance their way across the natural landscape and texture of woven fibers.”

These are very special wraps. It is very exciting to be a part of something so revolutionary, even if my small part is only as the consumer. I’m very proud of my friends, and I feel very privileged to be a spectator as this dream becomes a reality.

Why Us? Why Not Us?

by The Maiden Metallurgist on May 7, 2013, 4 comments

We got our diagnosis a couple of months ago now, and you know; sadness, denial, anger, and acceptance. We did it. Josh was the first one of us to get to acceptance, but then he sort of lost track and got focused on all the negatives.

Health issues, money issues, possible developmental delays. I noticed that we stopped talking about baby names. I didn’t push him because we process things very differently.

The hardest day for him was when our neighbor’s daughter came over with her 9 year old who has down syndrome, to talk to us about local services. For me it was a great day, she felt a little like a kindred spirit, didn’t sugar coat things, and clued us in a bit on how awesome our town is when it comes to getting kids with special needs the therapies and help they need. She told me about her son’s soccer team made up entirely of people with special needs, kids and adults together, that made me smile. For Josh it was a bit tougher. While I was talking with this awesome mom, Josh was playing with the kids. Their 9 year old and our 2 year old were at the same stage developmentally on a several fronts.

I think this reality hit Josh pretty hard. He was a in a funk the rest of the day, while I was riding high. Finally at bedtime we talked about it. Fear, doubt, and grief for the perfect life we have right now. I got pulled under. I lay in bed that night asking “Why? Why us?”

Night can be hard. During the day we are so busy, so happy. Life is clipping along. At night everything slows down and your thoughts have the room they need to spread and wind and travel where they need to go.

A few nights ago, after a particularly fun evening with Hen, we are again in bed and Josh says “I kind of forgot that this baby is a baby. He’s going to be a baby like Hen and then he’ll be a toddler like Hen. He’s going to make us laugh and make us mad and make our hearts swell, and I kind of got bogged down in the differences, but really, they’ll be the same”

YES! Yes they will. And he had this excited tone in his voice. I’m so glad. It’s been a while since I heard it.

And just like he pulled me under, Josh came and pulled me back out.

Now I am not asking why us? There is no answer to that question, never will be.

Or, if there is an answer it’s, why not us? Why not?

Dandelions

by The Maiden Metallurgist on May 4, 2013, 3 comments

Not long ago Saturday morning would find me nursing a hangover or planning my day drinking… or both.

Now Saturday morning finds us up bright and early, kid fed, working on the yard before it gets too hot.

This time of year, the garden is not quite in full swing yet and we are all about prep work. This week’s focus is… the dreaded dandelion!

Do you guys side eye your neighbors? Look out the window and take a look at their yards and silently curse them for not taking care of their business? Like getting a handle on their own dandelion problem before it spreads and becomes your dandelion problem? I do. I do! I admit it!

Take a look at our neighbor across the street:

A few more weeks those dandelions are going to turn and the whole block will be in trouble.

We, on the other hand, are on top of our dandelion problem. We don’t use chemicals or lawn treatment because the kid and the dogs play in the yard, but Josh found a fantastic solution.

He bought this Weed Claw for like $14. I’m not sponsored or anything, I just want to share the love. This thing make getting dandelions out by the root a snap. Our yard is good to go.

Comparing Pregnancies

by The Maiden Metallurgist on May 1, 2013, 2 comments

Comparing Pregnancies

Last night I had my first real pregnancy freak out. Nothing to do with the baby’s medical issues, this was a straight up selfish panic. I had my first “oh fuck there is a human in there GET IT OUT!!!!” claustrophobic episode.

Josh talked me down from my panic and did his best to make me comfortable. He reminded me that what we want MOST OF ALL is for this guys to keep cooking as long as he needs to to get big and healthy and strong. This is not new information, but when panic takes over it’s nice to have someone level headed around.

Today I am 31 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

I feel huge. I’m bigger than I was with Hen, that’s for sure.

And I look absolutely thrilled about it don’t I?

This was me at 32 weeks with Hen. I just went and read the post I wrote at 32 weeks pregnant with Henry and it’s pretty much the same.

This time around I’m feeling different emotionally, but physically… yeah. Big, uncomfortable, not sleeping.

I’m a whale.

Gearing Up To Garden

by The Maiden Metallurgist on April 30, 2013, 1 comment

I was worried that all the rain (did I mention that we had massive flooding rains here?) washed out our asparagus crowns. We planted last year and patiently cultivated the bed, waiting for year 2 to yield our first crop of small, sweet asparagus. We lost about half the crowns we planted, so we’ll replant this year, but the ones that came back popped up right on time… maybe a week late.

The feeling of triumph I felt when I finally saw those baby stalks peeking through… let’s just say it was disproportionately large for the event. I’m proud.

We got an early crop of kale and spinach (both frost hardy crops) in right before the rains and assumed they wouldn’t make it. They aren’t looking great, but they are hanging on. Time will tell.

Sugar snap peas are thriving, their curly tendrils are looking for a place to climb.

And speaking of thriving… hello sexy husband. You dig that hole.

Spring is here! Kids are playing in the park, sun is shining and this year I get a pass on doing the heavy lifting. Can’t complain about that.

A Boy And His Dog

by The Maiden Metallurgist on April 29, 2013, 4 comments

We’ve been waiting… waiting for the day when Hen could appreciate his dogs and they could appreciate him.

And with the first days of spring comes the realization that day is here!

Nobody else will play with poor Ty. Murphy only wants to fetch, Ernie acts like she wants to play but gets scared when Ty actually tries to chase her, and Kitty… come on, Kitty never wants to play with anybody.

So after enduring 2 years of ear pulls, eye pokes and feet licks (seriously) all of Ty’s patience with the baby has finally payed off. There is nothing like seeing these two play in the yard together. Tiberius running at breakneck speed, delicately banking around Henry but never running into him or knocking him over, and Hen freezing on a dime when Ty comes blowing past then breaking out in fits of laughter.

Here is the thing, both about being pet owners and parents. It’s expensive, time consuming and a big sacrifice if you do it right. Lord knows keeping a greyhound fed well and healthy is not cheap. But the payoff is so much bigger and better than having that money in the bank. I’m so fortunate to be able to have these beautiful guys in my life (and the rest of our brood too). I love that Hen will grow up learning the kind of responsibility it take to care for another, and the unconditional love and joy that you reap in return.

Gratitude

by The Maiden Metallurgist on April 26, 2013, 3 comments

I have trouble with gratitude.

Not feeling gratitude. I have a beautiful, wonderful, small and lovely life. I have a great husband, an amazing kid, a good job, a comfortable house, loving friends and family, and enough time and money to indulge my hobbies a bit. There are times when I am so overwhelmed with gratitude that it takes my breath away.

My trouble, is finding a way to appropriately and thoroughly express my gratitude to the amazing people in my life.

When Henry was born my girlfriends got together to throw me a baby shower, and while it was so lovely, I found it so hard to be the center of that attention, to accept that I may be deserving of so much love.

Recently I have been the recipient of so much, kindness, generosity and love again. Friends have come together and organized such lovely gifts and notes and surprises Hen and the baby, and for me. I’m touched and honored and speechless.

I want to say thank you. I don’t know how. I find myself in that default position where I feel unworthy of so much love. I think “they must pity me, that must be it” but I know better now, I know that voice is my own, nothing to do with the kindness of others, a life’s worth of insecurities battling the truth.

The truth is, I have a very lovely life. I have a wonderful world full of friends and family who care about us, just as we care about them. And we deserve their love just as they deserve ours.

As for gratitude, my cup runneth over.

The Best Parts Of My Day

by The Maiden Metallurgist on April 25, 2013, 2 comments

Every Night Josh puts me to bed. I go to sleep earlier than he does but I can’t fall asleep on my own and I’d miss our wind down time together if I did.

So we lay in bed and Josh tickles my back and we talk a little bit. Last night I said “Yay bedtime! One of my favorite parts of my day, top three at least.”

“What are the other two?”

And this is something I don’t even have to think about.

When I drive home from work and I pull into our driveway I can see Murph wagging his tail and barking, telling everyone else in the house that mama’s home. I park the car in the garage and walk to the back door, I can see Hen smiling in the back window and as soon as I walk in the house I hear the magic words

“Hi Mommy! What doing?”

What doing? It kills me dead.

My other favorite part of the day also happens in bed. I love bed. At 7 every night the whole family (mom, dad, Hen, dogs and cats too) all head upstairs and pile into bed (or perch on window sills, curl up on the floor, everybody finds a spot) and we start story time for the night.

On the matter of books Hen has us wrapped around his little finger. Bedtime means 4 or 5 books. And in our house that’s OK. We are voracious readers and if we can find a way to share that love with Hen we are all for it.

So we pile in bed and Hen shouts out the names of his favorite books (they live on Josh’s night table) and we read books, and I rub lotion on his dry skin, and I smooth his hair and kiss his forehead and we snuggle. The kid is not a snuggler, he does not sit still, not at any other time of the day, so I lay down and read Freight Train for the 80th time in 40 days and enjoy it.